#8 prayers un-prayed

Posts with a # at the beginning are part of our story. They are from when Stacey was little. All the other posts are current day or have a year or age noted. If you're new here and want to start at the beginning, just find #1 and at the end is a link to the next part so you can read in order.

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     Finally we have a potassium at 8! They feel she can handle the flight now. We made the final arrangements and Carlos left to grab some things from home and head to CHLA. They loaded her on the flight gurney and led me to the front passenger seat of an ambulance. Those moments of separation were excruciating but even unspoken prayers can be answered. The back doors of the ambulance flew open and as I looked back I saw them loading my baby girl! We were going to drive! Together!! My tears freely flowed as I thanked God for this gift!

      During the prep to leave, the flight the team felt they needed more room to tend to her if she crashed and the ambulance provided that better than the helicopter. Within moments of loading her we were on the road. Lights flashing, sirens blaring as we drove through town. Once we were on the freeway the sirens stopped and I started to chat with the driver. I told him she is our 4th. How our family has adjusted so well to her arrival. How the day had played out. I told him her name. He opened the mic to the back so we could hear them. She was stable. There was a little window I could see her through. She didn't look familiar to me. MY baby is pink and full of life. This baby was pale and limp and buried in wires and tubes and bleeping machines. I just wanted MY baby back.

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http://highfivesforstacey.blogspot.com/2013/08/9-critical-care-unit.html

#7 This has got to be a false alarm!

Posts with a # at the beginning are part of our story. They are from when Stacey was little. All the other posts are current day or have a year or age noted. If you're new here and want to start at the beginning, just find #1 and at the end is a link to the next part so you can read in order.

Enjoy! Thanks for being here! :)

      Her potassium was staying too high. CHLA decided they would send a team for her. They had an angel flight bring a Pediatric cardiologist, infectious disease Dr and a PICU nurse to us. This seemed unbelievable to me. I could not get my head around her needing this intensive care!

     When the team arrived they were very kind and explained things the best they could. They would work to stabilize her, lower her potassium level and fly her to CHLA. They agreed to have an ambulance drive me down with lights and sirens to minimize the time we would be separated. The medical team needed the room to work on the flight and I couldn't go with her.

      Hours were passing. Medicine. Wait. Labs. Wait. More medicine. More waiting. More Labs. Repeat. She was out of the unconscious fog and now looked like a sleeping baby. She would flinch with poking but still no crying. My irrational mind kept begging to hear them say *opps, false alarm, she's fine, go home* And yet, I could see this wasn't the case and something big was brewing.

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#6 irrational thoughts

Posts with a # at the beginning are part of our story. They are from when Stacey was little. All the other posts are current day or have a year or age noted. If you're new here and want to start at the beginning, just find #1 and at the end is a link to the next part so you can read in order.

Enjoy! Thanks for being here! :)

   
She starts to wake! I feel so hopeful! She looks pink again!! Carlos was there now and trying to be reassuring. A few family and friends are now in the ER lobby. I feel inconvenient. Then one of the pastors from church came in. My mind was overloaded and I had an odd response to him being there. I was angry. Pastors visit really sick or dying people and he had no business being there. I *knew* we'd be sent home soon and he'd have wasted his time. I know how irrational that is now, but at the time, that's about all I had left, a bunch of confused, scared, irrational thoughts.

     Labs were starting to come back. I expected answers. All I got was more questions. Each result created the need for further testing to narrow things down. There was indication that her kidneys were failing. Her organs were beginning to shut down. They started a variety of medications and ordered more tests. The most critical at the moment was her potassium. It came back at 11 the first time and they ran it again to be sure and it had increased to 12. This was twice the level it should be and put her at huge risk of cardiac arrest. This is when they started talking about medivac. They contacted a team from CHLA and was told they couldn't transport her until she was more stable. And here I thought she was getting better! More labs, more questions, more fear, more singing in her ear.

Continue story here:
http://highfivesforstacey.blogspot.com/2013/08/7-this-has-got-to-be-false-alarm.html