#5 So many questions

Posts with a # at the beginning are part of our story. They are from when Stacey was little. All the other posts are current day or have a year or age noted. If you're new here and want to start at the beginning, just find #1 and at the end is a link to the next part so you can read in order.

Enjoy! Thanks for being here! :)

We were taken into ER room 7. It's one of the few with a glass door, rather than just a curtain. There was instantly a crowd of nurses and dr's surrounding her. Taking her vitals, shouting out numbers. Trying to find a vein to start an IV. She's limp. I'm asked to step back and I comply for a moment. No movement, no crying with the needle pokes and they can't get an IV. I squeeze to the head of the bed and nuzzle my face close to hers. I try to sing Jesus Loves Me to her. My voice is breaking with my heart. I start to hear things, "20% dehydration, unresponsive, call the PICU to try to find a vein, call the social worker, call CHLA, get her history, and everything was punctuated by *STAT*"

I don't want to interrupt them so I process what I can and sing to her while I wait for someone to talk to me. 

A woman calls me aside, great, I'm going to get some answers, I thought... but no, I was to be giving them. I'm suddenly being grilled about her and my care of her. Drugs? Alcohol? Air conditioning in the car and home? Last time she saw a dr. The answer to that is what put a stop to this accusing tone of questioning. I could tell they were assuming I'd neglected or somehow caused this. When I told them she'd seen a Dr just a few days ago, they only wanted to speak to him. He was there in about half an hour, and defended my family and directed them to focus on Stacey. The ER dr finally speaks to me. He has no information other than to suggest I call my husband and plan to be here a few days. For some reason this surprised me. I was still holding on to the ideal of them fixing her and sending us home.

Still no answers, but 13 needle pokes later with not so much as a whimper from her, they had started an IV and drawn blood so now we wait. I made some quick calls and resumed singing to her. Looking for evidence of her will to live. She was breathing on her own but was so still I kept putting my ear to her chest to hear her heart beat. There were wires and monitors all over, oxygen tube on her face, IV's in an arm and a foot, and that door to our ER room was closed. This concerned me greatly. There were far more questions than answers. A nurse brought me some food and drink and a blanket. I kept singing in her ear, as if it was a pleading to both her to stay with me and to Jesus to intercede for her and let her stay. I'd asked Carlos to bring me clothes for two days. I had no idea how long those few items would have to last...

Continue story here:
http://highfivesforstacey.blogspot.com/2013/08/6-irrational-thoughts.html